DIDN'T KEEP BURGLAR OUT.
Despite Kimbrell's Unusual Precau-
tions Marauder Visits Him.
"If I could find the man who bribed my burglar alarm I would send him to the penitentiary for life," said Bert Kimbrell, assistant prosecuting attorney, yesterday.
"Out where I live at 2742 Holmes street burglars are plentiful and I have taken great precautions to protect myself. For a few weeks I kept a dog with a 44-caliber bark, but the landlady objected to the animal's noise and tendency to feed upon the portieres and rugs and compelled me to kill him.
"Before I got rid of the dog, though, I took his voice and bottled fifteen minutes of it, taken in the full of the moon, in a graphophone. This graphophone I kept in my sleeping room. Burglar alarms on the windows and the doors were connected by electric wires to the phonograph and there was an automatic circuit maker, so that when anyone tried to enter the room the graphophone set up a howl.
"Last night I was awakened by a masked burglar in the room, throwing a flashlight in my face. I was too badly frightened to scream, so I sat up in bed and read to the stranger the Missouri statutes on burglary and explained to him that I was in the prosecutor's office and could send him to the penitentiary for ten years. He seemed to realize his danger and backed out of the room, escaping by window as he had come in.
"Upon his departure I got up and examined my graphophone to learn why it had not barked an alarm.
"The foxy burglar had been in my room in the afternoon and put a joint of beef in the funnel. When I turned on the electric current, all I heard was the ghost of my dog growling and gnawing on the bone."
