GOT RID OF A GRAFTER.
Effectiveness of Scheme Resorted
to By Freight House Boys.
A little coterie of railroad men snugly ensconced in a corner of the grill room at the Hotel Baltimore were telling stories. Most of them, of course, were "talking shop." A traveling salesman, who was allowed to mingle with the bunch on account of the fact that he had formerly been in the railroad business, told this story.
"Years ago, and it may be so still, pay day on the different roads here was a signal for representatives from orphanages and old folks' homes to invade the local freight offices after subscriptions. Ticket sellers for entertainments also chose that day to visit us. We used to cough up to these people. It was put up to us so strong that we had to. But the village pest was a long, lank, lean woman who used to bob up quite often. She always carried a booze breath on which you could strop a razor. One month she would be taking up a subscription to bury a poor child and on her next visit she would ask for aid to complete her education. She never had any education to complete, but she always had that booze breath and the boys used to had her a quarter or a half to get away from her. She would weep on your collar if you didn't and that benzine breath came near putting one or two to sleep.
"One month a check clerk came up from the freight house and announced that 'Miss Weeping Boozelets,' as we called her, was headed our way. A council of war was held. Something had to be done, and that quickly.
"It was moved and seconded that "Billy" Tweedale, the claim clerk, have a violent fit, fall on the floor in convulsions and foam at the mouth. The rest of the boys in that room were to get very busy waiting on Billy and pay no attention whatever to Miss 'Boozelets.'
"Billy loved a practical joke, but he didn't relish taking the star part. His claim was nearest the door, however, and it was up to him to have a first class fit. By means of a bit of soap he was enabled to foam, or rather lather, at the mouth.
"Billy was leaning back in his roller chair. Just as Miss 'Boozelets' entered the door he gave the desk a vicious kick and over he went, landing almost at the frightened woman's feet. While the other boys were running for watter and calling, 'Get a doctor,' the O. S. and D. clerk took Miss 'Boozelets' by the arm and said, 'Madam, this is a delicate matter, will you please retire?' She was led to the door and it was closed behind her. I think the grafting woman heard the laugh that went up as soon as she was on the outside, for she never again came back to the Missouri Pacific local freight office."
