DABNEY WAITS TO GET EVEN. ~ Wouldn't Trust His Temper After Christmas Treat from Bartender.

January 17, 1910

Wouldn't Trust His Temper After
Christmas Treat from Bartender.

Dabney had not been seen around the saloon near Eighth street and Grand avenue since Christmas. His absence was noticed by his friends, who asked the reason. Squires, the big, genial bartender, only smiled when anyone asked. "What's become of Dabney? I haven't seen him lately."

A few nights ago Dabney dropped in. He looked at Squires, and it plainly was evident that Dabney had something serious on his mind.

"I'll get even with you," he said, between clenched teeth, "if it takes the rest of my natural life and part of the hereafter."

The the cat was let out of the bag. It appears that the evil day for Dabney was Christmas night. He stood about the saloon most of the evening suggesting, "Most saloonkeepers give patrons a present on Christmas."

The proprietor was away, and Squires spoke of him as being the one to make gifts. Dabney persisted, however. It so happened that while he was making one of his curt suggestions Squires spied an empty whisky bottle beneath the bar. It was a dark red bottle and still had the "bottled in bond" stamp partly intact. The big bartender quietly filled the bottle from the water faucet. He replaced the cork and the stamp without being detected.

"Here," he said, as he wrapped up the bottle of water. "I will break the rules of the house in your case. Here is a quart of as fine a whisky as you ever tasted. Compliments of the house."

Dabney was delighted, for he recognized the brand. The following day was Sunday, and, being so well supplied, he did not take home is customary "life saver."

"Come up, boys," he said, inviting the house to the bar. "I will treat back when I get a quart of good booze like that."

He not only treated once, but twice. Carefully stowing the bottle of water away in his overcoat pocket, he set out for home. He is a bachelor, and a friend who was invited the next morning "to have a nip at some of the best stuff you ever tasted" told the rest.

"Dabney loves his hot toddy," said the friend. "He especially likes it on Sunday, because everything is closed tightly. On this day he called me and two others into his quarters to 'have a toddy' out of his Christmas present from 'Tom.'

"With great care he got his hot water, sugar and lemon all ready. The proper amount was pured into each glass. While the water was steaming and the smell of lemon was perfuming the air Dabney, with a great show of pride in his gift, unwrapped his bottle of 'whisky.' When the cork came out with a 'thop' Dabney smiled and said: 'Get ready for the big treat, boys.'

"After all that preliminary, what was our surprise when the contents of the bottle proved to be plain, old Missouri river water. We had no toddy, as hot and cold water, lemon and sugar make a very insipid drink. Dabney frothed at the mouth, he was so mad. He swore vengeance, for he had to wait until midnight before he could get a real drink -- but he never went to call on Squires that night. He said he feared he might lose his temper and spill blood."

Dabney is patiently waiting on his opportunity to "play even" with Squires. He swears he will "make somebody feel as they made me feel -- Sunday, the day after Christmas, and not a drop to drink."